Merkins.

I had no idea until yesterday what the hell a merkin was. Now that I do, I have some serious concerns. It is a "pubic wig", that's right, a wig for your pubic hair. Really? Naturally like any good blogger I did my research; actors wear them at times - I get that; porn star - fine.  Maybe I'm out of touch, but I have a hard enough time making the hair on my head look good, now someone out there wants me to be concerned with pubic hair styling and accessories.  No, this is scaring me. 

Below is a list of why I fear the merkin: 

1. The name alone. Merkin? It sounds like the name of an evil magician from a Disney movie.

2. Malone, Stella and Freya.

3. Vazzaling and vattoos-heinous terms.

4. You can get a fox-fur vagina wig for $225. WRONG.

5. Vagina envy? I understand your child coming to you saying "oh I feel like my bum is big, or I wish I had longer legs". But "mom, I wish I had money for a new merkin this month, or I don't need bikini bottoms I'll just glue-on my merkin"  horrifies me. 

Is this slimming?

6. Nipple tassles (I feel these two go together). Are they coming back? Were they ever in vogue?  Maybe I need to ask my mom?

Cheers cheers,

L