Terms of Use

Below are a list of words and phrases that Meg and I over use, and love.

 1. Hopped up on the dew.= The child is acting extremely spazzy, like he/she drank a bottle or two of mountain dew.

2. Sweet child.= We use this term for a litany of reasons, sometimes we say it aloud in hopes that our children will start to instantly behave. ie. Oh, sweet child, look you've put all the wipes in the toilet. (clearly, we'd rather be saying you little f*cker, how could you!)

3. Beyond the thunderdome.= The child/baby/husband is acting out in such an extreme manner that it's beyond comprehension. ie. husband comes home from a Leaf game, incoherent, he is "beyond the thunderdome". Child decides to lick the mall floor whilst screaming, they've gone "beyond the thunderdome".

4.Larms.= This pertains only to my sister-in-law, or a model. it's another word for long, beautiful, skinny, toned legs. they're like arms, but legs....bitch. Even after the birth of sweet Remy, she's still gotta'em.

5. Scandi nap.= The act of putting your baby/toddler out  for an afternoon nap in the crisp, cool winter air. Very common in Scandinavian countries.

6.  The dark side=Thankfully they've fallen asleep, hence  they've  gone to the dark side.

7. Folder=One piece of bread with something on it (usually a ghetto spread) folded over, delicious. Our kids survive on these.

8. Kak= Afrikcaans word for shit, (pronounced Kuk). I love this word.

9. Benny hinned = A very complex procedure we perform to rid a child of an unfavourable trait. For example, Stella wouldn't sleep through the night so Meg and I, much like Benny himself, put our hands on the child's head and shock her, therefore exercising the demons that were the cause of the behaviour. Yes it is effective, we have a very high success rate with this. However, it is only called upon in serious situations. We do not overuse it.

10. Tharms= Meg's got these. Thighs for arms. She's working on getting her arms back.

11. Being French=Enjoying a glass or two of vino. When Meg and I say "we were really French last night", what we're saying is we got drunk.

12. High Style= This is something Malone coined. It means, lookin' good. Or the outfit you're wearing is fashionable.

13. Bali=This is how Stella refers to her blanket; it's been a source of great confusion. Everyone mistakenly thought she was asking to go to the Island Bali. Nope. Just give her, her f*cking blanket.

14. Pete and Hemy=These are the names of Leigh's hemorrhoids. I know, digusting. Pete the Pile and  Hemmy the Hemorrhoid for all you slow people out there.

15. Gan time.=This is something our father would do with our kids. Basically he would place the child on his lap and wrap them up in a "afghan" or "gan".

16. Mick Dundee - you remember him, Crocodile Dundee.  Somehow Freya has learned his method of the stare down.  Remember the cow that he trances?  Well, Freya will get you in an intense eyelock and next thing you know you are down, she has taken you under.

17. Uncle Funky, a.k.a The Funk - our other brother.  He is trying to make his way in Sports Entertainment and is a complete moron.  He married a lovely Scottish girl, Baby Lisa and now lives back here in Canada.  More recently, Baby Lisa gave birth to a perfect baby child, a little girl who is lemon squeezey. 

 
We are constantly coming up with innovated ways of  communicating with our children, each other and talk about other people without them knowing, please stay tuned.